My husband told me he wanted to be single right now. How long do I give him? He says it's to la

I know he loves and he is hurting, but he is letting his mind control his heart. He has like 2 different personalities and he even comes right home after work and still eats dinner with me, but says he is to scared to get back together because things could go back to the same. I have been speaking to a counselor and getting help and he just keeps saying is won't work and it is to late for chances. We have only been married 2 years and I just keep telling myself to hold and and things will get better. He said he doesn't want a divorce and he doesn't want to be with anyone else. He just wants to be single and free. How long do I wait though?

My husband told me he wanted to be single right now. How long do I give him? He says it's to late for chancessunshine

Not one minute. You are either married or not. He can't keep coming home to you and eating dinner and acting like a normal couple and then tell you he wants to be single for a while. That is not fair to you or to him.

Have him see the counselor with you. He obviously has issues to work out and pretending to be single is not going to fix things or make him want to start living as married again.

If he won't go to a counselor with you then ask him to leave. Let him see what being single again would really be like.

Good luck to you

My husband told me he wanted to be single right now. How long do I give him? He says it's to late for chancesstar theater opera theater

First of all, what he's asking for is impossible. You can't go from being married to being "single and free" without getting a divorce.

If he really wants this, you should tell him to move out. It will be very hard at first, but it will make him really think about whether or not he wants to be with you. The arrangement that the two of you currently have isn't working for a lot of reasons. It still feels like you're together, even though it seems like you're technically "separated". If the separation is physical, it forces the decision and lessens the confusion.
You've already waited. If it is just the two of you - no children's lives to ruin - let him be as free as he wants and you should be, too. End it. Maybe one day in the future he'll grow up and realize his mistake, and if by then you haven't found a really super guy to replace this not-so-super one...maybe there will be a chance. If you know what you want out of life, move on and get it.
he sounds as if he is trying to avoid the responsibilities and problems of marriage, if u are in counseling and he still thinks it won't work, what more can u do? if he is still coming home every night, than theres a chance but if not and he is going out, than there is a chance he is seeing someone else. only u can decide on how long u will wait on him, but i would think if he loved u he would be able to see that u are trying your best, so he needs to acknowledge that and stop giving u messages that he wants to be free.
sounds like he needs some mental help. and is extremely selfish. tell him you can not be married and single. that why its called being married. Get a back bone lady.. tell him he should of thought of that before you both said your vows... I would see a divorce lawyer... and talk to him about going.. your aether married or divorced... ya cant be both!!

did you cheat on him... ask yourself why you think things have changed
If you want to get him back you have to let him go if he loves you like you think he does then he will come back to you.
you need to give yourself time, waiting for him to come home and stay there is not doing you any good. Just one night don't be there for him for tea. treat yourself, movie and stay out late. Men think they can have their cake and eat it too and some woman do too. while you are there for him to dine with every night he has control over you (unless there are children he is also dining with) show you can be independent. If he is going to return it won't be long and he will start to miss you. MY mum always said don't leave the fridge door open too long things will start going sour.

I found this in a relationship and it worked.
I think some of the story is missing here. why would you need a second chance and what past does he bring up? If you are seeing the councelor i assume its something you need help with? I suggest if its something you did, hen if you love him, you will give him all the time he needs, until your ready to move on without him.
He has the best of both world's right now...coming home to a hot dinner and then going off to his single life....you should leave him alone if he wants to be single give him a taste of it. No calls from you, you dont answer the phone, dont open the door, dont have any communication with him for a week or two.....that should help him decide weather or not you are the one for him.
Don't make the decision based on what your husband wants.

Make your decision based on what YOU want. And do not

make a decision based on fear of being alone.

Your husband if FULL of contradictions .... He doesn't want

a divorce, he doesn't want to be with anyone else ... YET he

wants to be FREE and SINGLE! Well .... being FREE %26amp; SINGLE and "NOT BEING DIVORCED" CAN NOT EXIST

AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

Since you want to know how long you should "wait through" ...

Does THAT mean that you will ALLOW your husband to be

FREE and SINGLE for a period of time .... While you do ....

WHAT??? and if he REALLY doesn't want to be with ANYONE else ... THEN what would be the reason for being

free and single???

You say that your husband says that it is "too late for chances"

Is he saying that YOUR MARRIAGE has NO CHANCE???

If that is the case .... Then I don't know what you would be

waiting for. Do you think that your husband will take some

"free" time alone .... for 6 months .....AND then your marriage

will resume (happily ever after???)

Marriage in a commitment ..... for better or worse .... during

good times and bad. And sometimes the "bad" means the

times when we "just don't feel like it" Don't let anybody else

tell you how long to "wait it though" .... It is your life and YOU

are the ONLY one that will have to live with the consequences of waiting.

Look into your heart .... and decide if you want to risk "waiting

it though" only to find out that your husband NEVER wants to

come back. And I would ask myself "Why he doesn't love

YOU enough to FIGHT to work it out! (RIGHT NOW ... Instead

of pursuing his selfish whims .... Once he married you ... it

became MORE than JUST about HIM!

Wait has long as it takes for your husband to what to be

married .... But be prepared that it "may" be NEVER!

Or your other option is to accept the PAINFUL truth ... that

your husband is NOT willing to do the work ... or make the

sacrifices necessary to be married.

The choice is YOURS!
girl, just get out before he drives you crazy.
You're not stuck, you're in love, but being in love is no excuse for being emotionally abused. This is emotional abuse. He does this because he knows that he can. Got a trick for you...change the locks. When he comes over for dinner, tell him that he's single, and you are simply facilitating his single behavior. After all, if you are single, you don't have a little woman at home taking care of your needs or sleeping with you or living with you, or doing anything else with you.

It's time to leave now. There is no wait time for BS. Get out while you still have your self esteem. It breaks my heart to see women emotionally abused. You need a real man. if he can't accept the responsibilities of being a man and a husband, you don't need him. He is immature, and he doesn't deserve to be with someone as kind as you. Your love and kindness would be better spent on a real man.
lady, sorry this guy is full of himself. If he still having issues about his first marriage then he shouldn't consider about getting married the second time around when he is not mental ready. I would questions what have he been telling guys on his job about his marriage? What have the counselor advise you how to go about dealing with situation? Just tell him he have a choice, 1) if he want to be married to you then he needed stop all of this bull crap (split personalities and talking about he want to be single, etc)! 2) file for divorce and lived the single life once again. And find himself a girlfriend that would cook for him. He can't have his cake and eat it too. When you get married everything is share. I disagree with this he can go and come without you question him. But, he can question you about the things that you do? That is bull crap! Just get yourself mental prepare to leave him. If you feel that sorry for him and you want to stay. that is your choice and you have to find a way to deal with his crap! ....good luck.
i would give him until yesterday

he says it is too late for chances...chances of what?

he wants to have his laundry done, his food cooked and all the fringe benefits of having a wife without having one...he wants to go where he wants to go when he wants to and to question you? come on now...you HAVE to know what that means...get a grip and don't let him come back home unless he is going to be a husband...
First, take a good look around the house.

Ok now, what can you fit into your car?

Great!

Grab your bag and get out before it leads to violence. I mean it.

Oh, he won't hit you, he is not that kind. He won't push you, call you names, throw things.

Bull. It's on its way. He is mental.

Save yourself and file for divorce. This is not a marriage worth saving.
he sounds like he is using you. he gets a nice meal with a nice lady / friend and sometimes gets fringe benefits. He has made it perfect for himself if he is heartless and cold. You may want to rethink why you are wanting him to stay with you. are you afraid to be alone and start over? Don't be, you do just fine without him.... heck even better!!!
You don't mention his reasons in general or this event in "the past" in particular, but the entire premise of a marriage is to stick together no matter what, find a solution to every problem, and not ever to give up. It sounds like perhaps he's using "the past" as an excuse to wriggle out of his responsibility.

Bottom line: he's refusing to fulfill his responsibility to the marriage; when things get tough he's wimping out. That's the last thing you need in a marriage - and the last man in the world you want to be married to.

File the papers 1st thing in the morning - and change your locks.